When we plan something “big” and look forward to it for a long time, our expectations can become overly-heightened by all of the positives associated with the adventure. In real life, negatives are also along for the ride. In our day-to-day lives, we expect these challenges. If we run late for a meeting because of traffic, oh well. But when we get stuck in traffic and are late for our scuba diving lesson on vacation, it drives us nuts. If there are too many negatives that occur during our big event, it can put us in the dumps.
There are a few ways to keep adversity from steam-rolling over your adventure.
- Expect problems. Set your sites on dealing with a handful of in-your-face problems. If you’re with family or friends, keep in mind that individuals respond to adversity differently. Be prepared to help each other mentally process any serious situations that arise.
- Laugh or cry. Let it out. I was once on vacation with my kids in Mexico when they were young. As the sole adult, I was trying to tackle a lot logistically. When we got to the front of a long line to get into a water park – our big event for the day – and my credit card didn’t work for the second time, I had to go sit in a corner and have a little meltdown. React to and then release your stress so you can get on with your day.
- Look forward. Look beyond the immediate situation to a point in time when the problem will no longer exist. Imagine relaxing in your beautiful, cozy new kitchen after all the contractors, noise, and dust are gone.
This action will remind you that your current predicament is temporary and better times are ahead. - Take a break. If you become too overwhelmed with a predicament, take a break from your adventure. When it rains the entire week of your camping trip, get a hotel room one night and go to a great restaurant for dinner. Removing yourself from the immediate situation can let your emotional reserves return to their normal level, allowing you to put your coping skills back into normal use.
- Get creative. Under stress, we often fail to think creatively or utilize resources that are available to us. My friend once took on the adventure of moving to a better neighborhood. When she ran out of money for moving expenses, it threw her for a loop. After taking a break and re-grouping, she realized that she didn’t need to pay her professional moving crew to unload her belongings. She simply needed some strong people who would work for the bit of money she had left. She got the name of the local high school wrestling coach, called him, and three days later she had six wrestlers standing on her front porch, along with a coach holding donuts and orange juice!
You can come up with good solutions when you are able to take a few deep breaths in the midst of your adversity and engage in some creative brainstorming.
Your response to adversity while in full throttle adventure mode makes all the difference. While it might seem great to foresee and avoid misadventures, life would be too predictable and boring. It’s the combination of expected and unexpected challenges that add up to produce lasting memories, great stories, and a sense of real accomplishment.
